can i don't grow up?

duno duno duno

2008-07-05T02:52:00.003+08:00

Seriously, this tot has been running in my head for the past 2 yrs and 9 months. I shouldnt have dragged it for so long to come to this conclusion. Now, im only being sucked deeper and deeper into the trap. Everytime i will be so sure, so confident, so determined to get out of it once and for all. But as always, i was hoping for miracles. A miracle just to prove that im wrong, so that i can convince myself to have faith. But of course, reality only have shit and no miracles. I duno what i should do now, i duno, i really duno. Can someone help me?

2008-06-30T23:41:00.001+08:00

just had a fight with WJ over my job and pay again.
WTF.

wo hui lai le!

2008-06-30T23:04:00.002+08:00

Yo hello everybody im back!!
How's everyone?

Happy Belated Birthday to Brother oh!
Heard from YK you went to bintan ar? So good!!

Laopo and laogong must be on the way back from batam too!! WIth u these 2 crazy girls, the trip must be ultra fun!! Too bad i couldnt make it. =( I sooooooo wanna go too! but WJ couldnt go, and he wont let me go without him too.

Im so desprate for a Holiday now then even a cruise is oso fine, genting oso can, even sentosa i oso dun mind lor!!

Anyway these few weeks haven been really busy, but all the past weekends is burned going to family events, birthdays la, man yue etc. But all thanks to that i get to spend plenty of quality time with WJ too. And maybe due to seeing him too much, I event dreamt of him while he is just beside me!! But the dream wasnt good la. In the dream he fell from somewhere high, puked blood and face went black. I tot he was going to die, and was crying even after i woke up. But fell alseep soon after, cos too tired le .... whahaha!

Im Back

2008-05-19T03:58:00.002+08:00

Yes yes ... thanks to my dearest Djohan ... now i finally remember that i actually still DO have a blog. Haha.

Since the last post, lots of things had happened. Some good some bad.

To cut the long story short, I graduated from Orita Sinclair and got myself a job at an (really really small) advertising and design company. Struggling there for about 1.5 months to date, and is contemplating the idea of quitting. And lastly, nearly say bye bye to my dearest dear, due to emotions breakdown. (But thank God i didn't!!).

Maybe stress has been taking a toll on me. Dearest dear say i might be having depression. But i hope not. Salary is not even enuff for me to go for consultation, let alone the medication.

something random

2008-05-19T03:54:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Physical Touch:		8
Acts of Service:		5
Words of Affirmation:		5
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Stupid Video Project

2008-02-01T02:14:00.000+08:00

while waiting for my video to render ... let me do a little blogging ...
the thought of doing this video makes my blood boil ... so hope this ranting will let me cool down a bit and continue with the nonsense later through the sleepless night ...
I know im not going to do well for this module lor ...
but ... PLEASE ... I hope ... i pray ... i cross my fingers ... i touch all the wood around me ... i kneel down and beg ... PLEASE ... dun let me fail this module!
I dun mind getting a bad grade ... as long as i dun have to go through this shitty work again ...
Jass has got all my admiration for her patience of doing her video again and again for so many times ... *salute*
But for me ... one time is enuff to kill ...
So please! just let me get a pass! ... hack about all those grades la ...
Damn ... the rendering is done ... ARGH!

*Back to work*

tuan yuan

2008-01-27T03:21:00.000+08:00

SORRY ELAINE FOR BEING UNABLE TO STAY AT YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY!
but im sure you guys sure had fun anyway right?! *hehe*

Sorry YK ... Sorry Elaine ... for being such a lousy friend ... always missing at the wrong time ... and especially during special moments like this!! Zhi shi yi chi ... xia bu wei li ok??

yes yes YK .. i owe you ur sashimi ... ur hug ... hahaha ... repay you next time hor ... hehe

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Woot! went to wj house for tuan yuan fan today ... very very early tuan yuan fan!!! cos his brother and family is going to Australia next week ... so must eat before they go abroad. Frankly speaking this is the first time i go his house eat tuan yuan fan le! although this is gonna be the third CNY we are spending together. There isnt any shan zhen hai wei but this is one of the best meals that i had for a very long time. makes me feels like part of the family *heart swell*. Like i always say, things can always change. we might be like this for now, but who knows what will happen next. so for that moment, im just glad to be there, to be invited and be part of them. =)

new year is coming!

2008-01-22T23:25:00.000+08:00

just came back from chinatown with Mr Chin ...
Despite carrying a huge bag and jostleing with the crowd, i really like the atmostphere there!
All the new year songs and decoration pieces on sales just make it seems that new year is not 2 weeks away but now!

I so want CNY to come now! but before that ... shopping for clothes first!

bought a bag for mummy and THIS!

Guess what's that?

Its actually a doll with soil and seed!
So im gonna water it later and wait for his "hair" to grow ... haha!

busy busy busy

2008-01-21T18:10:00.000+08:00

was actually doing my flash portfolio ...
but apparently im distracted easily ...
so here i am!

been really busy since last thursday ...
running around borrowing eqiupement for video shoot ...
then doing the actual shooting at my house ...

then running around again to get program for editting and stuff ...
i tell you ... filming is really tough work man!
hope grada dun reject my work! *cross fingers*

my daddy! sacrifcing image for my work ... *gan dong*

touching up ...

the hassle of shooting ...

jie jie is like the professional make up artist ... haha

And thank you everyone for helping me with this project. especially baobei weishan! thank you for running around with me hor ... without you i will really die ... muackz! love you! haha

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Then on saturday, went to my laogong JieLun's concert. Surprisingly i wasnt really in the mood to go due to all the heavy work!! But is my laogong's concert le ... how can i dun go ... later he sad how ... haha!

there's this big gong zai of him outside the stadium. i wanna bring it home!

look at the crowd! it looks even better with the lights off and glowing lightsticks.

I Love Jay hands provided by starhub

Kexin with her zai pai dong zuo!

pretty da jie weilih!

me and my jay!

cam whoring before the concert starts ...

Presenting: THE-MOST-UNGENTLEMENT-AND-SICKING-GUY-WHO-NEARLY-SPOILS-OUR-DAY!

Yah! This idiotic guy who tried getting into our picture here, requested us to stick our butts onto our seats during the show. Simply because he tot he was watching some classic music concert and that everyone else jumping and cheering along in the indoor stadium is uncivilised and rude. HELLO! this is a concert lor ... if u want to just sit and watch, then go buy his DVD, kiao ka and watch at home la!

Luckily our mood is not really affected by him. Jay really got us jumping and screaming like siao kias by the middle of the show. I love his live "yang guang zia nan"! SUPER HIGH! He even got down the stage to shake hands with the fans ... too bad we sat too far away! *cries*

Didnt get my camera that day, so heres some pictures from my niece's blog and some with the courtesy of http://biaos.blogspot.com/ (thanks for the wonderful pictures!) who went to the concert on fri. Btw those who went on sat (like me) got to see his Ah Ma dancing ... she is so cute lor! haha.

before the show starts

kick start the show with huang jing jia (which me and ke xin tot all along is huo yuan jia! laogong wo duo bu qi ni!)

some girls touching him all over while he sings yue qu. no link with the song -_-

jay singing shuang jie gun in a new slow and catchy melody. really nice!

Chow Yun Fatt in "Ting ma ma de hua" Video

zombie dance! his dancing really improve a lot lor ... shuai!

che ling with style ... shuai!

singing qian li zhi wai ...

playing fai ru xue ... shuai!

some lucky guy got to dance with one of the sexy dancers who went off stage...

Nan quan ma ma is the guest of the night ...

my fav segment!! Seeing him playing on the piano is so charming!

Overall, the concert is great! the only disappointing part is the lack of time. The concert seems short even when its 2.5 hours. And he missed out a lot of classic songs like "shan hu hai", "feng", "wo bu pai" etc ... oh cant wait for him to come here for another concert again ... next time must get the most expensive seats!

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Another important event happened during the weekend. A special day for a special someone. My little baby niece came into the world on Jan 20 2008!

presnting *ta ta*: BABY JENITH!

sleeping so soundly ...

So small!

Dont she look cute! when this picture is taken she is bearly 9 hours old! She look just like Persias, her elder brother when he was young. My sister is so blessed to have 3 beautiful and healthy kids. Thankfully because of her, she makes me a xiao yee for the 6th time! yeah! now got one more baby for me to play already! wahahaha

Ya and because of her sudden arrivial, I couldnt make it for YK's Bd celebration dinner. Sorry Brother! owe you one ok!

i want to be alone ...

2008-01-20T02:58:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish i can be alone all over again ...
not sometimes but most recently ...
something inside me is making me feel inferior ...
making me feel so small that i wish i dun even eixist in the world ...
i bring nothing but trouble ...
am i making a mountain out of a mole hill ...
am i being difficult ...
am i being petty ...
i feel so difficult to live with myself, me and i .... let along others living with me ...
im over paranoid, sensitive and highly dignify ...
that i want nothing less than the best ...
but the bottom line is i just want trust and honesty ...
is that so difficult to find? or it dosent even exist in the world that im living in now ...
i believe in honesty and expect some, not even all, in return ... yet i dun always get what i expect ...
maybe i need to be alone ... all alone ... cut from the outside world ...
thus i will learn to believe in faith again ...
cos there is nothing that will make me disappointed again ... cos there is nothing to believe in ... in the first place ...

another sleepless night ...

2008-01-17T01:42:00.000+08:00

cannot slp again la ...
tml got video lesson ...
haven do anything yet ...
must rush through the night again ...

friday got presentation oso ...
sian la ...
how come everything like cannot finish de ...

hope things stay this way

2008-01-16T00:49:00.000+08:00

we fight, i cry, we patch ...
this seems to be how things work nowadays ...
we are fine for now ...
but i wonder how long will this cycle continue to work ...

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went for my THIRD jap test yesterday, yes you didnt see wrongly, its the THIRD time le ... but even with the help of my ever so smart laogong i still manage to fail ... not again but thrice ... hahaha ... laogong wo zhen dui bu qi ni le! Jap is really so tough lor ... still got what verb, past tense, present tense, my pea brain just cannot take it ... should have just asked laogong to take the test for me since we both look so alike ... wahaha

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After 3 days of a mad rush to squeeze out some homework to show step last friday, comes a mad weekend with KTV til dawn and drinking til seh. Right after class on fri, i went to meet sisters at orchard to celebrate Weilih's birthday. Then we went to Kbox at cineleisure. Everyone was super high when we started at 10pm but by 4am we were all lying on the couch ready to go to bed. So we started pushing the mike to each other in order not to sing. If only XiaoBi didnt leave so early, then al least got a professional singer who can entertain us while we take a break. Anyway with our since-we-paid-so-must-use attitude, we still managed to sing all the way tile 6am .... and even waited til the waiter to chase out out then we leave. wahaha!

After going home and slept for 3 hours, I rush down to kallang to meet WJ. It started as a really bad day. somehow i made him so pissed of with me that he dun want me to go tampines with him. but anyway my tears work, so i went kallang and meet him before taking train down togther. I was late and made him late for soccer. heng heng he is not angry, but i was still guilty that i told my self next time i wont go soccer with him anymore. It started pouring just before we reached, so we had to do a 500 meter dash in the rain. Then he went for soccer and i hanged out with the gfs of the other guys. They are really nice people la, but somehow i feel so awkward with them. They know each other very well, so make me feel like an outsider. Nothing to talk to them also. just the thought of it, makes my hair stands again. sorry im not anti social, im just an introvert lor ...

anyway, after his soccer, ah luan jie jie and kor kor came to picked me up and we went for dinner with some other family members (thank god!). Godma, god pa and da yi came for dinner too. It has been sometimes since we have met up and stayed over at kexin's house already. and we had so much fun with all the drinking and cam whoring that she started. And the hilarious fashion parade with the ridiculous clothings that she made my brother wear. Kexin send me all the pictures then can upload!! We were so noisy, lucky the neighbours were nice enuff not to call the police. haha.

very obvious that everyone is drunk! where is weixiang??

there you are!! rock and roll! wahahaha

Didi and me!!

Yo yo yo!

weishan! why no action?

the youngest of the pack. ke mei!

the 4 girls! where is kexin alfro hair missing?

happy and stress all in one!!

2008-01-09T17:36:00.000+08:00

FINALLY BOUGHT THE DS I WANTED FOR SO LONG!!

Been nagging to all the people around me for 6 months whether i should buy one a not. so the always very kind hearted xiaobi lended me hers to play. After playing for 6 months (sorry xiaobi for hogging ur stuff for so long ... hehe ... paiseh), i decided to returns her and get myself one. One that belongs to me!! So $350 gone, here comes my new DS!

Chio hor? haha! actually wanted to get the white one, but i tot this one look more unique. The most if i get sick of the colour then stick the sticker to cover. just like what laogong say reagrding her psp.

As you guys know, im graduating in Feb. So now im actually supposed to have tons of work to do and complete. Which all projects needs days and longs hours to do. But im so stress that i have decided to be a turtle, to hide, to escape. Im trying all means not to do my homework, play game, do housework etc ... i just dun wanna touch my work. Yah i know its very wrong, like jass say, its time to face the music. But i just duno where to start!!

im so stress ... my hair is falling ...

Happy New Year 2008!

2008-01-04T02:05:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!! This post might be a tad late after 4 days but nevertheless its still the beginning of a new new new year!
Kick away all the unhappiness and bad luck from 2007, this year will be a much better year! i hope and i believe!

2007 has been a year of sadness for my family with 2 death in a row. A year that we will never forget.
2008 will kick start with a bundle of joy from heaven when my sis give birth to her third child in Jan.

In 2007, I joined Orita SinClair and met a bunch of crazy but lovely people with the same dreams.
2008 will be the year we grad and join the workforce. Hope all of us can find the jobs of our dreams!!

2007 is the 3rd year I spent Xmas and New Year countdown with Mr Chin.
In 2008, I hope we will still be celebrating these days together too. muacks!!

Last year havent really been a productive year for me. I should actually be working my butt off already according to my dear friends. Cos this year, i will be turning 24! *glupz* OMG! (shit ... y must i admit it) and yet I haven start working yet. Quite ashamed by the tots of it too. Some people my age are already earning thousands and yet im still day dreaming at home. So the first new year resolution is to FIND A JOB OF INTEREST AND A SALARY ENUFF TO FEED A COW LIKE ME! hope thats not too tough. I had enuff of collecting certificates! muahahaha!

I love what im studying now. But with the amount of work that we have to do everyday, sometimes stress is really too much to take. So the best stress relive is to eat! Eating time let me procrastinate the work to be done and it keeps me up at night with a full stomach. Thanks to it, my stomach is always full now with all the fats stored inside and the fats that spread to everypart of my body with the excess from my stomach. So the 2nd resolution is to GET RID OF ALL THE BLOODY FATS THAT ARE STUCK TO MY BODY! To me, that will be a little more tough than the 1st resolution. But i really dun want to be like FEI TIAN! *shivers*

Think this 2 new year resolution is enough to make me busy till 2009 le. Hope I can show myself a good report card at the end of the year. Hehe. And hope everyone will do well this year, all students will score straight As, those w/o work will find a job, those with jobs will earn BIG money, all couples will stay together, happy and sweet, everyone will be healthy and strong, shares will rise and everyone will strike 4D! Hahahaha!!

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On the last day of 2007, my family choose to do a mini renovation to our 7 year old house. So its a pack and throw day of all the rubbish at home. Our house is really not big, but the rubbish is a mountain high. We could have a $1 flea market and earn thousands, thats how much rubbish we have. Thanks god i have dinner plans with sisters and countdown with lp, lg and brother, so i manage to sneak out with wj and enjoy the last day of 2007 watching fireworks and not counting down in the midst of rubbish and paint!

So we met up with xf, wl and xb at the central where we dine at Mai Maison, a japanese restuarant with an english cottage theme. The food there is really yummy! A must try! thats one at bugis too, you guys must go try! Anyway after dinner, we went to TCC at clark quay. Along the way we watched people played GMax and "G-String" (didnt know the real name, so i just made up one). The swinging one looks so much fun!! The passengers are dragged to about 50 metres high before they are relesed, then they will swing like a big giant ball before coming to a stop. WJ say he will die of heart failure even before the ball starts to move up. whahaha! But it looks so much fun! anyone wanna play with me?

The Yummy yummy cakes from TCC. The one on the right taste like ferrer rocher!!

Cam-whoring with Xiao Bi! Look at all her different expressions! she is such a natural ... wahaha!

All the failed attempts of taking a picture!

Yes. Finally a proper one!! but our faces are stiff already ...

Xiaobi and Xiaofen still look more natural in their "zhao pai dong zuo"

thinking that its such a perfect pose for couple, they persued us to do the same. look at our relecuntant faces.

after much delay, we succumd to their professioanl persuaion skills.

A very akward group picture, clearly depicting 2 seperate groups. haha.

Around 11, me and wj start walking to esplanade to meet lp,lg and brother, but the human traffic is so bad that we decided to watch at the padang instead, just in case we coludnt get there in time. We found a spot on the grass and watch some kids playing with balls and mini helicopter while waiting for time to past. Suddenly, i felt something bump on my leg. Thinking that its a ball, i lift up my leg and wanted to pick it up. But i coludnt see anything cos its really dark. So i look harder, and saw a pair of eyes looking back at me!! ITS A FROG! scare the shit out of me! I scream and jumped like a mad woman with all the people looking. So paiseh!! my mom say i should kiss the frog, maybe it will turn into a prince. yeah right, even if it is, he will be a ham sup frog, cos it jumped under my skirt! haha.

walking towards padang

look at the overwhleming amount of people!

Mr Chin with our son,Frosty.

My turn with Frosty. He look more like me right?

Family photos. My son is so lucky, so young get to see fireworks already ...

A very very bad attempt of capturing the beautiful fireworks.

Anyway after the fireworks, we wanted to walk to the war memorial to meet lp which is just across the street. Bad move!! We were stuck in the worst human traffic ever! It took us 1 hour to walk a mere 5 metre distance to the pedestrian crossing. And WJ was cursing and swearing to himself (i think), cos his face was black like coal. We were like totally stuck chest to back to the person infront and were able to move only inches every 10 mins. Cos the bloody TP keep letting cars go instead of people! In the end the people are all so fed up that they just run across the road ignoring the TP. If not we will confirm be stuck there for another 2 hours. Those TPs really need more training sia.

Thank god the mood changed after meeting up with lp, lg and brother. We went to a pub at princep road where jiawen used to work and had so much fun!! We open a bottle of Chivas and played dice and poker games. Laopo, Laogong and me gang up during the bluffing game and make brother drink almost every round til he seh. Even when he get the best score, he is also doomed to dirnk. Wahahaha. So funny! high 5 girls! Then we played poker with dice. Its just like poker, which you have ti get pair, full house or straights. During 1 round, i got 1s for all the dices le!!! which is a rare case, so the rest must drink. But they chao kuan lo, say trial so no need to drink. LIARS!! wahahaha ... Everyone was very high by the end of the night. Especially, laopo, laogong and brother! While walking to kopitiam, we tried to stripe brother's jacket but kana scold by all the bfs. haha. We were so high that we wanted to continue the drinking party at lp's house but too bad couldnt get a 7 seater cab, so had to go home. Nevertheless, that night was extremely fun. The best countdown ever with the gang!!

Groupie at the pub! *before everyone is high*

Brother is confirm drunk. just look at this pic. wahahaha!

Laopo and her uncle jackson

Laogong and her froggy Chin.

Brother with his ... erm ... jacket. Cos his partner YK decided not to come join us.

So heres a better deal with the 3 of us!

Me and my Mr. Chin

Merry Xmas!

2007-12-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

Ho! Ho! Ho! Still in the holiday mood though Xmas is over. Laziness has crept over me so much that i haven touched any work for the past 10 days. But now that Xmas is over, im looking forward to New Year, then Chinese New Year, then whatever holiday that is next. Just want to escape from work!!!

Xmas eve had been really fun with Laogong, Laopo and brothers. Well ... frankly speaking, which outing haven been fun with them?! Wahaha! Still think that i was deciding whether to stay home or join them for countdown, due to some problems at home. well ... who would still have the mood to celebrate when your eyes are nearly blind from crying. Thank god there is always sunshine after the rain. So here's the people who created the sun!

1st: Nice ty on getting all in the picture with our exchange gifts.

2nd: eh ... Where's Laopo and Brother?

3rd: Laopo's back but where is brother?

4th: Now Laogong's missing.

5th: Poor Van kana tortured by us!

6th: Yankar look really bored now with the multiple tries

Finally! A normal picture with everybody in!

After a rather havoc Xmas eve, Xmas day was celebrated with my family at home with a surprise visit from Xiao Shu, Ah Ma, Er Shen and Ai ying. So we just had a simple dinner and a mahjong session after that. And the lucky me won $21! Haha.

Yummy log cake bought by Mr Chin from Chocolate & Spice.

Just realized that i didnt take any picture with Mr Chin this Xmas. *sad*

naughty!

2007-12-20T04:47:00.000+08:00

just came back from double O after a night of partying with sisters. yeah. my favourite hunt! the place where my someone special appeared ... haha ... and of course the place where you can drink non-stop and be drunk like nobody's business!

im such a bad girl ... skip school today and go play ...
but its so much fun today! ... so its worth it! hehe

but who knows the bad part comes later ... i met a pervert taxi uncle today!! not really uncle la ... he look quite young ... but anyway ...

he dun have to show me his private colletion of porn on his phone screensaver right?!!! damn gross le ... who ask me ... so kahpoh ... so see see look look ...
haiz ... tml gonna have sore eyes le ...

Designer' hell

2007-12-05T19:56:00.000+08:00

MJ send a link to this article about a designer's life. oh man.. it so true!!
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Design Hell
Do you have this strong interest for design and graphics?

Do you find yourself tinkering with Photoshop and editing photos till late at night?

Have anyone told you that you are good in art/drawing/mixing colors/making sculptures with plasticine and suggested that you should be a designer?

STOP RIGHT THERE!
So you think you are good in art and everybody right down to your Art teacher suggested that you should sell your soul to Temasek Poly, NAFA, La Salle or whatever art school that is growing like toadstools in Singapore. Nobody told me about the truth of the design industry and if they did, perhaps, I would have taken a different career path. Since I don’t want you to be trapped like I am, I thought I‘d share with you my experience and shed some light to this realm of creative darkness. And hopefully, you will not make the same mistake like I did and save tons of your parent’s money that you are going to spend on countless mounting boards, Copic markers, PCs etc.

Yeah right.

So lets see.. just right after you finish toiling endless hours, doing project after project and learning all that graphic software, you finally got a piece of paper they call a Diploma.. Ahh… the farce of education. There’s so many topics to elaborate but I’ll stick to the point.
The 1st thing I notice once I got a design job is that, they don’t work the regular 8 hours. Nope not 8 to 5pm.. not even 8 to 6pm.. When crunch time comes its more like 8 to 11pm. What do I mean when I say crunch time? Crunch time is when the whole office starts to go on a frenzy because dateline is near and the we have to die-die print 10,000 pink panties brochure by Monday. (Depend on the product lah.. sometimes the brochure is about a promotion on epok-epok, sometimes its about the latest designer moth balls and now it’s a sale buy 1 get 5 free pink panties.)

Crunch time, ie working late pass 6, can go on for days to weeks and even months! Its true.. imagine coming back home late pass 9pm every single freaking day. I have the experience working for a company that I have to SLEEP in the office to get the job done on time.. Do you have any idea how it feels to SLEEP in the office? Its like the office suddenly becomes a chalet.. a chalet with work in it. And mind you, I was not alone.. I saw my co-worker sleep on his desk with his hand still holding the freaking pencil. And it was 4am. And just when I thought I am the only one working for a devil, I comprain to another designer friend that she too have to sleep in the office.. I stayed for 3 days.. she stayed for a week.
Then some ignorant guy might say..

Before I elaborate on this, I suggest you sit down. I am telling all of you design enthusiast, that there is NO OT PAY. Gasp! Is it true?! Yes it is. So technically speaking, after 6 pm, when everybody rush to get in the MRT like sardines to go home, the designer is still in front of the computer, trying to make a 1 inch by 2 inch newspaper ad look nice. And he/she have is not being paid for this time. There is a word that describes a person who is forced to work with no pay.. the dictionary call it a SLAVE.

Modern Day Slave

And when you do tell your boss about it, the best answer that he can come up with, which I have heard so far is 2.
Excuse 1: “You have no OT pay because you are an executive. And we don’t have to give OT pay to executives. I don’t know which gahmen rule says this and if it does exist I hope that whoever came up with this would rot in hell.)Excuse 2: “Please don’t be too calculative EB.. just give and take..” But he refuse to accept the fact that I have been “giving” for 3 straight days in row and he goes home every night.
Actually, to be honest, I have to tell you right now, that design.. whatever it is, is a time guzzling industry. It takes time to make an ad, an animation, a movie. If you cannot afford to pay your workers because you need him/her to stay, you can easily appease the workforce by having this thing call TIME OFF.. BUT even that they take away from you! Yup I hope you are lying down by now.. because after the designer work nights without pay, they are deprive of having quality time with their family and friends.

Aiyah… but surely your Diploma salary is high what?
Another MYTH. A pay for a designer starts at 1.3k to 1,7k. It is high compared to say, a PSLE holder who is taking home $800 a month. But if you really calculate the OT hours, the designer makes just about the same with the PSLE holder and at times worst cause at least the PSLE holder can sleep on a bed. You sleep on the company’s sofa.
I have more points to make but this post is getting too long.. I’ll write the other stuff soon.

Passion kills,Evil Bunny!

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article taken from http://www.happeepill.com/index.htm

why?

2007-11-13T03:42:00.000+08:00

is taking design really such a bad choice?

is having a dream really that bad?

is not thinking of future monetary issue really that wrong?

is doing what you love and enjoy such an unrealistic thing?

why?

why are we always fighting over this issue. am i really that spoilt, unrealistic and useless? why do you always think your way and wont put yourself in my shoes? why can you be so sweet and understanding all the time but make me wanna cry and die whenever this comes along? why?

our idea of the future is so different. will you be sick of this one day and say lets go our separate ways?

will quitting the course, forgetting my dreams, finding a decent job with a good pay makes you happy? will i be happy?

My mummy is so nice!

2007-11-10T01:43:00.000+08:00

oh ... My mummy is such a darling ...
She loves us, take care of us and is always there when we need her the most ...

Just one call to her, and she will be right there for us.

where can you find another mummy like her?

she is just the best!

I love my mummy =)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday was Deepavali holiday. So San Jie suggested having a picnic at pasir ris. Initially the arrangement was for all of us to be there by 4. But as usual, with our lack of communication and organization, we were still at home at 7. why? San jie and mummy only went to buy food at 4 and by the time mummy was done cooking, its already 7. But lucky for us, our time were not wasted. While waiting, er jie, poland kor, wj and me had a round of mahjong! haha. And surprising, I beat all of them with a total winning of $25! * proud*

Anyway, since we were still at home at 7. Its quite impossible to go pasir ris beach anymore, so WJ suggested going to west coast park instead. Thank god for the suggestion, if not we would have reach pasir ris at like 8? haha. Talking about moonlight picnic, here goes ...

The big family sitting around with lots of food!

Candid shots! oh ... i love the look on my daddy's face ...

San Jie, Poland kor, Baby jet and me!

Mummy 'The Ah Ma' with a bunch of kids.

My son, Persias, with Jet and Jorene

Josiane and Irwin

Me and WJ. so busy eating ... tsk tsk ...

Ah... and we went to climb the big rope thing ... so high so fun!

And just nice to see how fat my legs are ... *cry*

angry for what?

2007-11-07T02:16:00.000+08:00

I'm unhappy ...

angry, upset, fuming, mad ...

but y is this so?

is it right for me to feel this way when something that is performing well suddenly falls under expectation?

am i being too critical?

or my guts feelings are right?

are things changing?

or am I just not used to it yet?

whatever ...

i just wanna be angry ...

maad market

2007-11-04T13:10:00.000+08:00

went to red dot design museum with jass and fizah yesterday. The designer market there is totally cool! they are selling all kinds of handmade stuff, which are all very uniuqe and intersring. had my eyes set on a cute gray dress, but too expensive le, dun have the heart to buy. Y i so broke!!

And the funny thing is I forgot to bring my wallet out yesterday and still can go shopping. Hahaha. So Jassine become my sugar mama of the day, eat and buy all on hers! but ... must pay back la. haha

Bought a cute postbox pendent for $4!

halloween 07!

2007-11-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

Chocolate milk is so nice ... but ... why is it giving me the runs!!!
One glass of milk = 3 times lao sai
My pi gu is hurting ...
---------------------------------------------------------------

Lost the momentum to do work already.
Been wasting time these 2 days, sitting infront of the computer for hours but doing nothing. Flash, Dreamweaver and Typography is so difficult!! I duno how to start. So Im stuck in the track.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Jassine just gave me the Halloween pictures we took at zouk last Saturday. We had such a great time! Didnt really drink la ... cos we were too busy taking pictures. Thank god for Jassine's camera if not we would have missed out a lot!

Jass, Alicia, Cristalle, Me, MJ

Cristalle, Alicia, Jass, MJ, Me

Group picture

Some of the peeps we meet at zouk!

lonely old man sitting at bus-stop

Group of chinese "da xi" guys

Dian xiao er!

Donut ... yum yum ...

Taoist and zombies

dead fire fighter

headless ghost!!

mummified

carls junior ... so hungry ...

hei bai wu chang

the mask!

Hitler

slot machine and duno what ... hahaha

jassine's friend who i think look like da s

lunatic killer on the loose!

another hei bai wu chang

horror maid and mad corpse

mad doctor? turns out to be YX's friend ...

ghost couple

horrible death

banana in pyjamus! our pyjamus friends ... haha

us and justin

flaging for cab ... but one uncle taxi driver kana scared away!

oh btw we made it on newspaper!! haha ... Friday's The New Paper has a picture on us ... so cool!! *picture cope from jass ... again!!*

the sweetest thing in life

2007-10-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

the bf has been really sweet recently ...

he volunteered to help me do my work when I have to rush things through the night though he has class the next day ...

he pei me go library when he has to carry 6 heavy hard cover design books and giving me the lighter ones ...

he pei me walk around supermarkets to find stuff for school work ...

he cooks for me when im busy doing work ...

he gives me advise and edit my work when i need help ...

he listens to me nag about all the unhappiness at school and makes me laugh ...

he spends 15 mins walking to and fro just to order food from a single stall, cos all the food i wanted is sold out ...

he pei me go home afraid that im being lonely ...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

y u suddenly so sweet ar? or u have always been like that only that i didnt notice? anyway cant praise you too much ... later u will have swollen head, head become big and fly away ... hahaha

just wanna say ... thanks for loving me so much wor ... you just make me wanna love you more ... *muacks*

sleepy ...

2007-10-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

didnt go to school again today. woke up at 11 when my class starts at 10. how bad can that be? was actually supposed to have woken up at 9 after messaging jass, but somehow i fell asleep again. By the time i woke up its just too late. Today was Rhoda's last day for class, and we were supposed to go and take a picture with her. Im sorry!

duno why im so tired recently. always seems to be lack of sleep. yawning at every 1/2 a second. I seriously need a morphine jab. anyone has lobang? haha. just kidding.

hmm have to re-do my packaging homework. sux. duno what to do now le. tml must show some progress liao. but now still stuck at what product to do! arrggh ...

tml going to meet peiqin baobei le!! yeah ... so long nv see her liao. duno what's going on in her life right now. definitely better than mine lor ... for sure. was discussing with her and MS where to meet tml via sms, then duno what happen MS suddenly got angry and say she dun wanna meet anymore. baobei say maybe is she made her angry. so i msg MS a few time ask her to calm down but she didn't reply all. throwing her da xiao jie pi qi again. hai. nu ren xing hai di zhen. really very hard to understand sia.

Sick again

2007-10-18T19:31:00.000+08:00

Just woke up from a peaceful sleep. Never had such a good slp since 4 months ago. *Shiok* Haha. Maybe its the flu med that mama asked me to eat. Havent been feeling well since last week, so decided to take a day off school and have a good rest. Hope it helps!

Drove to school alone yesterday! Felt so accomplished sia ... haha. But my heart was thumping the whole journey from home to school, praying that i can reach in one piece. Haha. Actually wanted to have supper with jassine and alicia de, but I duno the way home so have to postpone the supper til I get familiarise with the route. Next time k!

Anyway, after class I drop jas, alicia, del, grace and fiza at the parkview square BUSTOP, which they say it might be even faster if they have walked there. Wahaha ... so funny. Cos i was really slow and careful, and the short journey seems like eternity. haha. Me first time ma. Must gimme chance! After dropping them off, I went WJ's house and pick him up to go home with me. Was actually kidding with him de, but he agreed to come, so sweet!! *wink* love you baby.

Now, Im gonna post the Pulau Ubin Outing pictures with laogong, laopo and brother before doing my work.

Arriving at Pulau Ubin

Me, WJ, JiaWen, one weird uncle trying to act cute, laogong, brother and YK.

(while still waiting for laopo and jackson)

Group Picture

The Couples

Jackson and pretty laopo!

Cute cute laogong and jiawen

WJ and me

Brokeback!! Brother and YK

The Girls

We are all so hot, smelly, sticky, dirty BUT so happy!!

Look at our dirty back!

The Boys

At Last

It was a really fun trip despite the little hoo-haa and disruption in the beginning. And thank god laopo is finally able to come, cos it wouldn't be fun at all without you!! Smile more just like u do in the pictures ok? Love ya!!

*pictures courtesy from laogong

Happy October

2007-10-17T17:07:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, Happy Birthday to all the October Babies!

Happy Bithday to Ahma, Mummy, WJ's Mummy, Xuan Guang, Yilian Jie, Laopo, Alicia, Eh Pok, Jiawen, Matthew kor, Biaoyong, XueSheng, Agnes and Me!!

Secondly, thank you to all my friends who turned up for the Bbq. Thank you laopo, laogong, laogong's laogong, brothers, jass, alicia, del, xiaofen, xiaobi and my baby! Hope you guys have a fun time though =}

and, a special thanks to my family who organized this for me ... hehe

Proudly sponsored by Mr Chin! *muackz*

Birthday song

My Babies

My dad ... too bad there's no pictures of the rest of my family ...

Mr Chin and Me

Bean Sisters (missing weilih)

Woodland gang

Laopo & Laogong

And Last but not least ... my wonderful classmates!

Alicia, Jassine and Del!

Took a really long time uploading the pictures. Need to go for lesson soon. Later then upload the Pular Ubin Photos!

*Pictures courtesy from Jassine and Laogong

stomach flu virus!!

2007-09-22T22:19:00.000+08:00

Sick Sick Sick! This whole week should have been a time to rest and take a break from the heavy load of homework. But who would have guessed that i will fall sick on the first day of school break! Such a sickening luck.

But sadly, its not only me who was down with the virus. Jassine and Alicia were caught by it too. Yah so basically we spent most of the time at home rather than going to school and finishing up our remaining work.

This whole homework shit has really taken a toll on me. The stress, the deadline, the impossible task, the never ending work, the lack of sleep. I duno where to start to finish all this mess. And the best part is i dun really have anyone to talk to.

My mom? no. she will never understands and I dun wanna make her worry too. WJ? no. He will start to chide me about joining the course, wasting money and get so worked up that at the end of the day I will be the one trying to pacify him. Telling him that i love this stuff so much and im enjoying every moment in this.

guess ... im just too weak. The rest of the people are doing fine except me. maybe im just not cut for it.

I dun feel like going out these days. Just wanna stay at home, lie on my bed and daze. I dun wanna think. dun wanna talk to anybody. dun wanna eat. dun wanna drink. just wanna rot.

but school is starting soon. still must walk out of that door. still must face reality. still must finish all those shit. still must prove that im not that useless anyway.

is there a light at the end of the tunnel for me?

Criss Angel And Half A Woman

2007-09-08T02:00:00.001+08:00

so freaky!!! i wonder how he do it sia ...

mummy and daddy home!

2007-09-08T01:37:00.000+08:00

oh mummy and daddy is finally home! miss them a lot sia! just so glad that they are home safe and sound =)

having lesson with swee lye tml and we need to show him our logo process ... but right now my mind is still blank ...

duno what to draw ... seriously duno ...

i just stare at the paper and think ... 10 mins ... 20 mins ... 30 mins ... just passed by and all my sketches are like shit ... not a single one i like ...

my brain is dead ... just cant think any more ...

duno what to do ...

so feel like giving up ...

so feel like jumping down from a building ...

getting knock down by a car ...

someone shoot me in the brain ...

then i dun have to think anymore ...

uncle seng ... hurry wake up ...

2007-09-07T01:13:00.000+08:00

Hi,

Some updates of my brother who fainted at work last wednesday.
Just got back after speaking to the doctor. His condition is now stablised. Heart Rate at 74 and Blood Pressure at 135. Still on the high side, but has improves a lot. However, he's still in coma and the doctor is unable to estimate how long more he will be in this state (maybe weeks, maybe months or even years)
Currently, he's able to breathe with the help of some supply of oxgen. Eventually, they will try to get him out of the supply of oxygen to see if he can breathe all by himself. If condition improves, they can then close up the hole that leads directly to the windpipe. Else, he will have to stay on in this condition for life.

Next problem is he is now confirmed to have a major stroke. His blood clot is getting better but as it's at the brain stem, even if he wakes up, he will need a lot of family support for his daily chores (may have to stay at nursing home if there's no one to take care of him full time). So, will have to look into how to get his daily life on...but most important thing is still - he has to get out from his coma.

Will still have to pray very hard.

Regards,
Amy
-------------------------------------------------

got this email from my aunt today ...
didnt know that my uncle's condition is so bad ...
hope he get well soon ...

sunny sunny!

2007-09-06T02:13:00.000+08:00

this layout very boring meh?? dont u think the sun is so cheery and cute? see already oso very happy what ... wei shan u no taste le ... whahahaha ... k la k la ... see i finally blog ... because of u le ... gan dong ma ... haha

Nothing happen recently so i didnt blog lor ... because basically this few weeks are just homework, homework and more HOMEWORK! Im up to my neck already ... and so is all my other classmates ... work just keep piling and piling ... like a sewage pipe that burst ... all the shit just keep on coming ...

oh yah ... something did happen ... i accidently squashed a lizard and the poor fellow was flattened on my bedroom door ... jassine must be sick of the story by now ... hahaha ... but its really gross lor ... i really hate lizards sia ... i would rather have millions of crocraches crawl over me than one liazrd touch me! *silvers*

my mom and dad went China last week ... my uncle had a stroke and is in coma for 1 week already ... seems quite serious but my grandma wont let us tell my parents ... hopefully by the time they come back he would have woken up already ...

take care of urself peeps ...

how to coax your gf

2007-07-31T00:52:00.000+08:00

HOW TO COAX UR GF.

1. NEVER LEAVE HER ALONE TO COOL DOWN, even if she tells you to go away or does not want to say anything. 95% of girls hate that. They like to pout and sulk and ignore you while you keep trying to cajole. Keep doing that. It may take 5min for one girl... or 10hrs for another.... before she cools down.

2. BE SINCERE. If you are trying to apologize, then be sincere about being sorry. Girls can't stand guys who say sorry but then when they find out more try to push the blame back to the girl, or take the girl's reasons lightly.

3. After you have done 1, she would have decided to stop her cold war with you, and she would open her heart again and tell you EVERYTHING she feels, and why. LISTEN ATTENTIVELY. DO NOT INTERRUPT except to clarify. When she is done, and appears to feel better that she's given you a piece of her mind, THEN you may try to explain your side of the story patiently and contritely.

4. Never make her feel that her anger is unjustified EVEN IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE DONE NO WRONG. Show her that you understand how she feels and that you promise you will try to be more sensitive and not be so stupid in the future.If you have done 1-4 well, she would have forgiven you by now. However, her mood may still be bad because of the whole episode. NOW you can start cracking silly jokes to cheer her up or do anything silly/funny/romantic/sweet/touching. To do the cheering up BEFORE step 1-4 is just suicide ok. She will be even more angry to find that you have the mood to clown around when she's so upset about something else.

** Its so damn true lor ... all guys should memorise this by heart ... but i doubt ever will somebody do that ... cos guys just dun get!!!!

** Stolen this piece from Laopo's blog. Hehe ... *peace*

he didnt ... so eventually i did ...

2007-07-30T23:39:00.000+08:00

its an agonizing day for me ...
something happened ...
unhappiness and disappointment manifested due to my stubbornness and brainless act ...
pieces and pieces of my heart was eaten up till I couldn't take any more ...
without the heart ... what is the use of pride?
So I decided to take the first step to stop the pain ...
praying hard that this is the correct move to take ...
the result wasn't what i expected ... but still, it wasn't that bad ...
it felt like the pain after popping a pain killer ...
its still there but it doesn't hurt so much that you feel like dying anymore ...
sometimes I just love myself for being such a wimp ...
such a coward ... such a loser ...
If the world is full of winners and people who wont give in, without people like me how can there be peace?
ya ... i know ... i am just consoling myself ... cheers ...

Baby Ally Whatever

2007-07-27T03:50:00.001+08:00

Saw this clip from my cousin's blog ...

This little girl is super cute and funny!

WHATEVER!

chivas

2007-07-27T03:08:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Van's house after a drinking session with the remaining bottle of Chivas kept at YK's house. It been a long time since we had our last drinking session at the hotel during Laopo's birthday last year. Almost a year le! We used to have fun like this frequently in the past until some stuff happened and everything died down.

But nevertheless, everytime we have a outing it is still as fun as before. All the same crap, lame jokes and teasing. All so old already but still act like kids. Hahaha ... okok i know u all surly wanna say im the only oldest right? fine lor ...

So when are we meeting again ar?
Who is the most free one?
Organise another outing k!
I wanna play mahjong, go sentosa, sing ktv, go mind's cafe, chiong, and DRINK!!
So the most eng one better do ur job hor ... *wink*

imm and reg jap 2

2007-07-26T00:55:00.000+08:00

woke up early in the morning to collect my Taiwan spree clothes which took 3 months to come ... OMG! And another spree in May is still one the way. Taiwan spree always take so long to come lor ... Im so not going to order again ... arrgghh ...

After collecting the stuff, me and Jass went IMM's esprit outlet cos she wanna check out some belt. The things there are really much cheaper than other stores cos they sell mostly out of season clothing. But to me they still look relatively in fashion, so who ever interested can go check it out. Initially, I wanted to buy a white leather bag. The retail price was $89.90, but now its only selling at $49.90. So Im like super tempted lor! but Jass say its not nice, so in the end I only bought a belt with her, which cost only $6.90. Not a bad deal too! haha ...

In the evening, I met up with Weixiang to sign up for our Japanese elementary 2 class and after that had dinner with him and Harvey didi. We had Pepper lunch!! My favourite and WJ's hated food. Lucky he is not with us, if not i sure cant eat. Hahaha.

We were chatting about work and studies. WX's going to start school in NTU soon and Didi thinking about changing his course in NTU after he ORD from army. Then stories about success friends or schoolmates of theirs started pouring in.

"1 friend's internship pay is $1200 la.", "Another one was headhunted by a company and his starting pay is $4,500.", "1 pretty friend of WX is studying XXX science in NTU." blah blah blah ... And sitting beside me is 2 potential NTU engineering graduates ...

Suddenly I feel so small ... small ... small ...

yah ... So what if i am also a mass communication graduate ... my cert is just a piece of shit to me ... the best way to put it I bought it back with just $22K. Where do I stand among all these intelligent and young people with a bright future? Where Can I Stand??

Im not smart, my studies sucks, my designer's path is still just a dream, im not confident, im not outspoken, Im not good at anything and basically im just a good for nothing. If im pretty then ok la, maybe I can do some bimbotic job, but the worst is im not even up for that. And to think of that some people can even be pretty and smart at the same time *envy*

How can thay do that? Are they just born intelligent? Or do they work smart? How can they cope studies and life? Im just curious. yah I tried too but too no avil. I have learnt that hardwork does not equal result. No matter what i do, how hard i try, nothings seems to come out good. Maybe Im just not smart like what WJ says.

Hearing about people getting $5k a month is like a dream to me. When can i achieve that? 30 years time? Not even sure whether i can get a bloody job after I graduate from OS. How can i support my parents in the furture? Hai ... Im feeling so depress ... *cry*

finally updating again

2007-07-25T03:56:00.000+08:00

oh yeah! im finally updating my blog ... i know its been a long time since i blog and cobwebs are building all over liao ... haha ...

Been busy, then lazy, then trying all means to forget that i have a blog ... yeah tts me ...

Just had a study break last week, but sadly didnt really have the chance to go play oso le ... stuck at home most of the time doing homework ... and eventually missing out a lot of stuff too ... cannot date ... cannot play ... cannot chiong ... so many cannot ...

Unlike WJ who is clearing his leave now ... playing all day lor ... going here going there ... so good ... going out til i duno where or who he going out oso ...

actually suppose to post pictures of brother's celebration de ... which is like 3 or 4 weeks ago but i haven even bluetooth the pictures to my comp lor ... wahahaha ... talking about being lazy ...

then just now i was playing with facebook with jassine ... keeping poking her bunny and petting her frog ... wahahaha ... so funny lor ... imagine our msn conversation ... "eh poke my bunny le" ... "send me a present ... i like the cow" ... haha ... so cute ... got chance u all must go play play ... hehe

communication problem

2007-06-13T01:58:00.000+08:00

haven been seeing bi very much these few weeks ... but somehow rather than having tons to talk to each other due to the lack of meeting up, it seems that our conversation is getting more and more dry.

the topics we talked about everyday are always the same. And sometimes im just so tired that i dont feel like talking.

Of course i misses him and wants to see him as often as possible. But when communication comes into place I just wanna avoid it as much as i can.

just like what larlin wrote in her blog, communication is so vital in a r/s.

but y is it yet the most difficult le? hmmm ... *tired*

Ocean 13 sleep sleep

2007-06-11T00:46:00.000+08:00

watched ocean 13 with xiao bi and maisy maisy mouse just now ...

was soooo tired ... that i fell asleep ... haha

after a gd long 15 mins, then realized that i cannot waste my money!!!

so i had to force my eyes open and just managed to caught the climax of the movie ... *phew*

these few days too many homework to do le la ... always not enuff time to sleep ...

then before that still went to do a game event at square 2 for m&m ...

not enuff sleep still have to run ... *peng* ... haha ... lucky me still fit enuff ... hehe

Ocean 13 is really funny ... Must watch!! but if wanna compare, i still think Ocean 11 is better ... smarter plot ... =)

lose mahjong big time

2007-06-10T03:00:00.000+08:00

just came home from a mahjong session from Mr Tony Chan's place.

It either my mahjong skills really sux or my luck is really down.

Cause for the past few hours, i won only a few times and the only time i win is those small small tais. And every time i have those big tais somebody else is bound to win!

arrgghhh ...

So anybody who wants to earn some extra money or have the kick of winning on the mahjong table ... feel free to find me! Im sure i can make you very happy ... haha ... arrrggghhh ....

random

2007-06-07T23:32:00.000+08:00

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional.

You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it.

You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out.

Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable.

Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there.

You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men

You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.

You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your Birthdate: October 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame.

You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them.

Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing.

You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship.

Your strength: Your charm

Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics

Your power color: Indigo

Your power symbol: Four leaf clover

Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

unhappy

2007-06-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

im not happy le ...

you know that kind of feeling whereby everything seems to go wrong ...

when laughter is hollow ...

smile is fake ...

mind is elsewhere ...

heart is cold ...

no idea when this mood suddenly creeps in ...

maybe its the time of the month again? haha

maybe its nearing Aug and the insecurity is coming back again?

maybe oh maybe ...

im just unhappy ... *sulks*

pink toy! thx baby!

2007-06-04T00:05:00.000+08:00

I was out with ning, eve and baobei during the day, while bb went for his usual soccer match. After the soccer, he called and said that he will be going out with his "laopo" yaosheng. So i said ok lor and didnt think twice about it.

Later when he is about to go home, he called again and said he bought presents for our "babies". (well ... babies are actually our 2 soft toys - bear & froggy - that he got for me). I was really surprised cause he wont usually buy things for me without occasion, so i immeaditely imagined it to be something really cute and small for the "babies" that he just bought for fun. But no matter how i question him, he just dont wanna tell me what is it.

So after that he came and fetched me home. Throughout the bus journey, i kept bombarding him with questions. Like, "how big is it", "how much", "what is it made of", "what is the use of it", etc ... "is it socks", "is it a hat", "is it shoes", but he keep saying no until i gave up.

Then there is this person sitting in front with a mp4 player watching a show, so i casually ask him to see. I said that the player seems very good. can watch movie and the screen is very big. Then he ask what is the difference between this player and the one i showed him on the magzine yesterday. I said its about the same, but this one is bigger and that one i showed him is a bit small to watch movie. All of a sudden, he become very agitated and keep asking why i dont like the smaller one already. After seeing his reaction, then it came to me that the present he kept talking about is THIS!!

OMG!! I really didn expect him to buy this! Cos i was only casuslly mentioning it to him yesterday that i saw it at the IT fair and was considering to buy. But the price is quite steep so i really couldnt afford it. And to my surprise, he went down to the IT fair and bought it for me today! Im so touched!! He actually remembered and take noticed of everything i said and is willing to spent so much on me while being stingy to himself! yet i still complain about him for forgetting my words sometimes. *my bad this time*

And this is our new toy! I love pink!

$399 for this tiny thingy! But a ear phone is missing from the package and bb is not too happy about it. Need to call and check with the dealer tomorrow!

It can play mp3, video and pictures on it and i love it too bits! Thank You BABY!! *muackz! muackz* No, its not too small for video. Its just the right size and i can watch it while doing gym next time. And i will put a lot a lot of your pictures in it too! Dont worry k ... i really love it a lot!! This month you will have a scrap and save again, xin ku ni le! we shall be more thrifty for the next few months k??

A bonus kiss for you: *MUACKzzzzzzzzzzz* =)

miss universe 2007

2007-05-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

Miss Korea is so pretty!! Its such a pity that she didn't win the crown. Maybe it's because of the answer & question? To have a wallet that doesn't dries up ... hmm tt really sounds a bit lame. Anyway ... i was still very mesmerised by her! She is the prettiest one i find so far. Much better than Miss Japan ... i think ...

Miss Japan wasn't that bad too, but then she was just so-so to me. And just like what my baobei gf says, she walks funny! like very jumpy and a bit hiao, with her hips swinging her and there ... haha ... hmm not very impressed by her ... till thinks that my Miss Korea is better ... haha

And as usual, our Miss Singapore just didn't make the mark again. As compared to the past Miss Singapore, i think that she is one of the better ones. Pretty and intelligent. The others were just either pretty w/o brains or brains w/o looks. Its just a pity that she wasn't outstanding enough.

Hmm ... and one more ... im just a bit curious ... how did she get there?? *scratch head* there are bound to be tons of babe in Malaysia ... but why her?

me & baby

2007-05-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

When we were returning to his house after soccer just now, he suddenly laughed and said," you seems to be following me everywhere these few days hor... haha"

Then i think ... "eh ya hor ..."

Cos yesterday after class, i went to his place first before we meet his friends to play lan. After playing for a few hours, we went to his friend's place to play poker. Then he fetch me home and stayed over. Next morning, he send me to school. Initially im suppose to meet him after class, but who know there is actually no class today! *@#$^&*%#* Anyway, since its too far to go home, so i went to his house to take a nap first before his soccer match. After the match, we went for dinner and he send me home again. So now he is sleeping like a pig at the moment. Tomorrow we are going to have lunch with his family.

wah ... come to think of it we are seeing each other for like 3 days straight le! lucky we are not sick of each other yet (for him i duno la ... haha) but its quite fun though ... hehe

funny da jie

2007-05-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

this happen 2 days ago ...
i was reading hoiling's blog and my da jie entered the room ...

-------------------------------------------------------------

da jie: girl ... what are you doing? oh is that your blog?

me: no la ... my friend's de ...

da jie: no meh? (pointing to hoiling's photo)

me: no ... is my friend's picture la!! (trying to scroll the page down)

da jie: eh wait! i wanna see! its you what! but how come the picture is so distored??

me: (-_-) *sweat*

----------------------------------------------------------

wahahaha ... this is the joke of the year man ...

enjoying my lesson

2007-05-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

was sitting in class today listening to the lecturer speaking ...

all of a sudden, there is this sense of joy in me ...

cause at that moment, i realized that im actually enjoying myself!

i was so immersed in the topic that it doesn't even feel like im having a lesson ...

everything is so interesting and fun!

never in my life have i ever felt that way in any lesson ...

in the past, everything is sure a chore ...

but now its different ...

im so glad that i took up this course ...

i have finally found what i really like ...

*hope this feeling will last!! script writting class is coming up. Shit! how i hate writting!!

naughty baby insomia

2007-05-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

humph!

wanted to praise him for being so swweeeet yesterday for fetching me home from jap class de.

then today he refused to sing a lullaby to make me sleep after he promised to! blah! naughty boy!

im having insomnia recently ...

cant even sleep though im really tried ...

yesterday was even worsen ... i lie on bed from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m.!

can anyone gimme some suggestion to have a gd slp??

first day of sch!

2007-05-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

First lesson: Video Editing

Sounds fun rite? initially i tot so too ... but its actually the theory part! so its all about the techincal specs of the video, audio and so on ... Boring! And with the lack of sleep from these few days, I was doozing off 3/4 of the time during the 3 hours lecture ... duno what the hack the teacher was talking about all along ... =P

gonna go through another 3 more hours of class tml ... lesson is : Drawing ... well hope its not as boring as today lor!

jap class

2007-05-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

my laptop no sound le ... duno what happen ...
just bought it a few months ago ... now so fast spoil le ...
so sad!!

***

went for my first jap class yesterday!
it was so fun!
in the beginning of the class, im still able to understand ...
but after 2 hours ... everything is in a mess!
so many things to learn and remember ...
me really old liao ... brain cannot take it le ...
haha

***

next mon going to start school le ...
bit scared ... bit excited ...
duno what to expect ...

***

that woman is mad ...
i saw her throw tantrum just now ...
throwing her shoes, screaming vulgarity and hitting herself ...
im so afraid that she will hit my sis ...
poor sis ... always tolerating this ... never had a break ... how long will this last??

Fatal Frame 3

2007-05-15T13:45:00.000+08:00

Played Fatal Frame 3 with Poland kor yesterday...

BIG REGRET!!

I had to sleep with the lights on cos the images of female ghosts standing in the shadow keeps running in my mind!

Im really not a horror movie person. Though I did watched quite a number of horror movies like The Ring, Ju-On, The maid blah blah ... but its nv on my own accord. It will either be im forced to accompany someone, or i lost in a bet , or persude by others ... I dun understand y would anyone pay money to be scared and have nightmares at night! ok ok ... i guess most pple are not as timid and as lan as me la ... haha

Still remebered that time when we went into the old changi hosiptal with brother and gang, duno who's smart idea lor. I nearly died of heart attack on the spot! So scary ... Next time if there are anymore night outings with them ar must be very careful ... they like to bring us to haunted places de ... duno got what motives .... wahahaha!

Anyway, i will leave the game unplayed for now and wait til Poland kor free to come play with me again ... haha

Tagged Game!

2007-05-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

The newest blogging game.I think it's cool & nice la. Must read, & played !!TAGGED !!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is what you are supposed to do. Cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game. Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog. Here goes..

Weird things

1) I like to wear ... as little as possible when i go to bed ... else i will have difficulty falling asleep!!

2) When i enter the toilet, i must check the lock at least 3 times that its defiantly locked, before i will proceed to use the toilet or bath. *locked? sure its locked? ok it locked!*

3) I will never never cut my nails after the sun have set. My mom says by doing that people will dislike or hate you. *well ... i believe a lot in what my mom says ... hehe*

4) When i learnt that a guy is born in the year of either the goat, horse or rabbit, I will immediately lost interest in them. Cos these zodiac clashes with mine. On the other hand, I really likes guys who are born in the year of cow, snake and dragon. Hehe. *Alright! I know im being ridiculously superstitious!*

5) I will always avoid looking at any wake held under the HDB void deck, cos i believe once i looked at them i will have bad luck for the rest of the day. *ok ok ... im really a superstitious freak*

6) I believe that there is no forever love and no loyal & trustworthy guy in the world, wanted to be single forever but yet craves for love when im single. *nought said ... think this applies to most girls*

Weird huh?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

People I tagged1) Djohan 2) Lailin 3) Weishan 4) Ke Xin

Good bye Po Po

2007-05-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

jus came home from wj's grandma's wake.
Po Po passed away this morning in her sleep.
His dad called and broke the news to us in the morning.
We were both super shocked, cos 2 weeks ago we just celebrated her 83th birthday and she was still able to walk around and everything seems fine.
But now, she is gone ...
well ... who could have thought ...

Though we have only met for 6 - 7 times, but i have really grown to like her.
She is always so sweet. Keep asking me to eat more, eat more. Always talking to me (in Cantonese), which i totally dun understand a bit!! When i nod in response, she thought i understood her words, and she will continue to talk even more! Haha

She is such a nice old lady, i really really hope she is in heaven now( with my aunt), and will bless her family, her kids, her grandchildren, who really loves her a lot ...

2 funerals within 1 month ...
life is really short ...
life is really unpredictable ...
who knows what might happen the next day, next hour, next min, next sec ...
lets not waste anymore time k ...
please tell your love ones how much you care for them before time runs out ...

Here goes ... To my family, my boyfriend, my friends ... I love you guys (LOTS) !!! =)

***

jus now at the funeral, i suddenly realized something. Did you guys ever wonder why Chinese funeral are always held for so many day? like 3, 5 or 7 days? Is it really because of religion and ritual purposes? In remembrance of the deceased? Anyway, whatever the case it is, Im really glad that the Chinese have this culture. Though when a person dies, and the family grieves at the lost of a love one, but on the other hand during the wake, relatives and friends from lala land whom you have never been in contact for ages will definitely suddenly appear! And at the wake, most of the family members will there to help out and through that, there are actually a lot of communication going on, and in turn they might also grow closer. It's somehow like the deceased last attempt to do something for the family - which is to make the family stronger ... Isnt that so?

Happy Birthday baby chin!

2007-05-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

yeah guys thanks for all that suaning! better dun let me catch u drunk hor! haha ... btw laopo and brother ... u know how much i love you guys right? so ... can delete the video?? *plea* Hehe

***

Happy Birthday Monster Chin!!

Yeah you finally turn 22 le! But how come u are still like a little boy boy in my eyes huh? *Im such a paedophile ... eek*

He took a day off camp today and came to my house in the noon. Then we went cathay to watch spider man 3. initially wanted to watch at the 4D max theatre but it was down, so bo bian only have to watch the normal one. Btw hor, what exactly is the 4D max thingy huh? what is the diff? Is it when there is water scene, water will splash out literally? wahaha

After that, we went to Shangri-la Hotel, for a buffet at The Line. Omg! The food there is so nice! especially the dessert, seafood, sashimi, tim sum ... ok ok ... everything is nice! though its a bit ex la ... but its really worth the price. We ate from 7-10, and 3 hours later (tts now) im still feeling super full and bloated! He says im paying money to make my self suffer ... haha ... how true ...

but its been a really long time since we have enjoyed ourself so much. And im so glad that he is so happy today ... hehe ... Ni kuai le deng yu wo kuai le! Hope wo men nian nian you jing ri oh! love ya babe!

In the bus on the way to catch spiderman!!

Sashimi! Sashimi!

Comon! Big Prawns!

The Beginning & The End

Me and me baby ...

misc pic

2007-05-08T00:03:00.000+08:00

As per the request for Mr Tan Yun Xiang .... CURLY HAIR PHOTOS! *dun you dare call me auntie ... aarragghh!*

Some recent photos taken with Monster Chin. He is still quite upset with me for taking up the course. even saying that he will be utterly disappointed in me if i fail to do well. Haiz ... y must you be so harsh to me?? cant you just give me a bit of support?? *heartache* Im so afraid that we will start to drift apart when both of our sch terms start ... haiz ...

Anyway on the happier note, after months of savings ... i finally rewarded my self with some shopping! hehe

A tee from wetseal ... just love it ... its so cute and cheery! *look at the sun!*

NORMAL CLOTHES minus ugly model minus messy backdrop minus bad photo angle = GREAT CLOTHES

drunk at zouk!

2007-05-07T23:12:00.000+08:00

STUPID LONG ISLAND TEA!! I'm so going to quit drinking for a while! *hmm on second tot ... maybe not ... haha*

Went zouk last Friday with ning, eve, chuan lei and her boss. It was actually an invitation for a Motorola event to showcase some fashion pieces with cat walk and stuff ... but it was really boring!!! So we were basically just standing around, gossiping, making remarks about the models and dunking down gulps of alcohol unknowingly. Btw the time i can feel it, im already a bit seh. but not too bad la, i still can walk and make conversation.

*side story* chuan lei just changed company and is now working for AsiaSoft!! the company that created audition, maple story etc, for those who plays online games. How cool!! and her work these few days are just to play online games all day long ... yet she is still complaining of boredom! i think so many pple are dying to get her job. Haha.

Anyway, after staying a while we decided to leave the place (didnt even stepped on the dance floor!). And we headed for supper. Then ... the NIGHTMARE begins!

Guys ... remember that time at tzx place when yk puked all over the floor after the drinking session?? well ... i was just a teeny weeny better than that ... *shy* hehe

First, i puked in the taxi (lucky got plastic bag), then i puked again in my toilet, lie down and slp on the toilet floor, woke up puke again, lie down slp, woke up again ( feeling better) and crawl into my bedroom. Literally crawl! then i slept on the floor til morning. At that moment i swear to myself not to drink again! (does that sounds familiar to u brother??) Wahaha

Anyway here are some of the pictures we took that day!

GROUP HUG!! ning, me, chuan lei and eve!

chipmunk angie & sexy eve ...

pretty pretty ning ... my ou xiang!! she look like ezann lee doesnt she? *ning ning ... dun kill me if u see tis hor*

good bye da gu

2007-04-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

IN MEMORY OF THNG MEOW IMM
10-10-1948 to 24-04-2007

my da gu passed away last tues. it came as a big blow to all of us. she had been suffering from cancer for the past three years. went in and out of the hospital for umpteen times, but who would have known that this will be her last. during my last visit 2 weeks ago, she was still able to laugh and talk like usual. i tot she will recover, guess i was just too naive. she had been a really good wife, mum, daughter, sister and aunt to all of us. we are all missing her badly, especially ah ma. first losing ah gong and now her eldest daughter. hope da gu is in heaven now with no pain and suffering anymore. God bless. we love you.

life is too short, time is too precious

bored

2007-04-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

Im bored to death ...

nightmare

2007-04-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

had a nightmare yesterday!! dreamt that my sch close down! The sign board was even dropping of the wall ... scary! but luckily it was just a dream ... hehe

I have totally no life since working.
Everyday, its just work ... work ... work ...
at work do nothing ...
after work go home do nothing
weekend oso do nothing ...
my life is wasting away!!
im becoming an old haggard soon ... and nobody will wants me ... boo hoo hoo ...

laopo laogong xiaoqie brothers ... jiu ming!!!
lets find some activities and do someday k??
I miss all the fun with you guys!!

2007-04-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

Im such a hypocrite

Always saying things that I dun mean to

Just to make it seems that I dun care

Like its no big deal to me

Pretending to be strong

Trying to hide the fact tt you are so important to me

That every word you say affects me

Showing disappointment only makes me feel weak

Thought this could make me feels better

But yet im feeling worst than ever

I know you know my pretence

Just let me be

Let me be strong ... just for once

* ignore this post. pretend you never see. Amnesia. Amnesia. Amnesia.

sch? or not?

2007-04-19T20:23:00.001+08:00

I'm admitted to the sch!! paid an expensive sum of $350 for the registration. And my colleague was even saying that I'm conned. am i? am i not?

i really like that sch, but a lot of pple was telling me that its too small scale. even my sis suspect that it might be a fraud. initially i was really excited abt getting in, but after hearing all these comments make me confuse again. what if its really out to cheat my money?? but i did a check on the net and it seems to be doing quite well le. hmm ...

I'm getting fatter ... fatter ... and fatter!! Every time i step on the weighting machine is just another depressing moments. Can i just cut off all my fats?!!

man zhu

2007-04-08T16:41:00.000+08:00

Quite glad that i have spent these few days quite productively. hehe.

Meet up with sisters last thurs for a makan session at Creation! our long time fav hang out place. then started daydreaming about us becoming our own boss someday!! *sisters jia you. wo men ke yi de!* haha

Then on fri, after meeting up with monster chin for a while, went to meet peizhen and connie. We went to mindcafe at clarkquay and played till 11. Too bad lailin not feeling well. If you could join us it would even be better!! Those 2 girls are really crazy women, keep laughing and laughing at their own silliness. After the games, we realized. One has major hand cooridination problem, one has major slow reaction. Makes me look very normal. Now you know why i like to hang out with u 2 girls right? Wahahaha.
*psssss ... when we going chiong huh??

Yesterday le, its my eldest nephew's bd. So the whole family came back for dinner. Felt really warm hearted to see that everybody is back. Although, the kids are really noisy, mischevious and irritating at times. hmm ... i still really love them a lots. *smile* haha. Monster chin was present yxday too. Seeing him getting along with my family, makes my heart swell. Like he is already one of our family member. Sometimes ... sometimes... he can really makes me feel like the world's most blessed little woman. Hehe.

And NOW! Im going off to play mahjong with sis and jie fu lor!! Haha

Hilarious Banned Commercial Rated 13

2007-04-03T20:18:00.000+08:00

I felt down in the dumps recently. wanted to find something to cheer myself up. and guess what i found? THESE!!!

All these are Banned Commercials. Some are really funny. Hope they make u laugh too =)

bad dog

xbox commercial

for english humor only

Condom humor

he is lame

this is 7inch!!!

this is funny

haha huo gai

hilarious Condom Humor

for everything else there's mastercard!!!

oh my got this?

flavored!!!

axe shower gel...

coke vs pepsi

excellent printer

lol this one is Hot!!!

chocolate flavored condom

i told you i like this laptop

4 banned commercial

2007-03-29T20:14:00.000+08:00

I hate my thoughts! I always have dreadful thoughts. And the worst thing is, these thoughts always come true! Call it sixth sense; call it psychic, whatever … I just hate it!

I lost something important today. It’s not the worth of the item that matters, but how much it means to me. I lost it thrice. THRICE. And I was always lucky enough to get it back, but I guess I wouldn’t be so lucky this time.

I once made a wish. A very important wish with it. It’s my lucky charm. And now that it’s gone, I feel lost. Felt that all my little hopes for little miracles in my life are shattered.

Alright, I admit. I’m a very superstitious girl, too superstitious for my own good. At times it even hinders my basic judgment and behavior. It’s bad I know. But I just can’t help it. I’m not a lucky girl, so I need my little lucky charm around to make me feel safe, secure and grounded.

Now that it’s missing, I wonder whether the little little wish that I had made using all my mighty strength from my little little heart still works for me. Well … I really hope it does ……

mix feelings

2007-03-27T21:59:00.000+08:00

ooh!! got a few news to announce!

First, *HAPPY* I finally pass my driving test!! I'm officially a class 3A driving license holder!! wahaha ... *SAD* my daddy don't allow me to drive yet ... sian ...

Second, *HAPPY* I permed my hair! A bit troublesome though, but its a great change from my usual straight hair. Hehe. ... *SAD* my jie meis say i look very auntie ... one of them even say i remind her of her mom! *angry*

Third, *HAPPY* Im going to have a long break again! If theres no changes, I should be free from Apr onwards. Unless my boss ask me to stay again, but i doubt so. And even if he ask, i cant too, else WJ is going to kill me. *SAD* I'm so going to miss the people there! My zhabo, Mr ah-lan, Mr crappy, Mr xiao lao ban, my cousin and so many many more. Hai ... I will miss all the names calling, miss the stupid lame jokes and leng xiao hua, miss the lunching ... ooh im so going to miss the gang! Dont think i can ever find such colleagues else where in the future le ...

tml im going for another interview le. duno can make it a not le. but just going to give it a try. if im offered the job, i will have to postpone my study plans. if im rejected, i will have to find a school and start studying again. Damn ... I hate making decisions! Heck la ... so I shall just let fate decide for me where i should be going next! *lazy me* hehe

stupid bus driver!

2007-03-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

Im so freaking angry!!

Because of some ignorant driver with no common sense ...

really dumb ...

Cant she see that im standing on the steps??

If she cant see how can she drive ... i wonder??

If she CAN see then why didnt she give some warning before opening the door??

Well ... at least i can be violent once in my lifetime and squeeeeezzzzze my way into the crowd

rather than kana my leg caught in the bloody door and got a deep cut!!

Is so painful lor , I nearly fainted ...

No kidding!!

I was perspiring cold sweat and my vision was blurred ...

Luckily, I got a seat in time ... If not I will really faint i tell u!

Please ignore my ugly feet ... Jus look at the dangling skin! EEKK!

I think my whole flesh was scrapped off ....

*pain pain*

The Pursuit of Happyness

2007-03-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

please ... please ... please watch The Pursuit of Happyness!!!

Its such a superb movie!

Touching, motivating and uplifting ...

felt so happy after watching!! hahahahahahaha!!

felt like a million bucks ...

make me realized success really dosent come from nothing ...

hardwork really do pay off (well with a bit of luck of course) ...

so all those out there who felt that they are down in the dumps ...

please dont give up!!!

wo fei le ...

2007-03-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

let me rant!!

WO FEI LE!!

office job really make one fat ...

no kidding ...

barely working there for only 6 weeks, im already 1 kg heavier!

gosh~!

Im so going to go for a jog tomorrow morning before going to work ...

*dun gimme that look*

wanna make a bet with me? haha

change song!

2007-03-02T20:00:00.000+08:00

Decided to change e background song to 梁静茹 "可乐戒指"

曲：Jasemaine 词：五月天阿信

星星在天上写诗浪漫到放肆

嘴角的吻还未湿我还受掩饰

我调整了我坐姿假装更矜持

你的紧张你的公式就像个孩子

你把我喝完的可乐来换当作戒指

轻轻套上了我手指你问能不能一辈子

那一秒突然爱上了你傻傻的固执

我不要你解释我不要你发誓

我只要你记得此刻你眼里我的样子

爱我不要解释爱我不要发誓

这一刻到世界末日让我们一起把爱

活成最美最美的钻石

你把平凡的日子变成纪念日

永恒变成未来史男孩变王子

我不要有大房子也不要大宝石

我会珍惜可乐戒指永恒的消失

你用吃完的糖果纸那是你的方式

默默地写下你发誓你说保护我一辈子

那一秒突然看到了你背后的双翅

我不要你解释我不要你发誓

我只要你记得此刻你眼里我的样子

爱我不要解释爱我不要发誓

这一刻到世界末日让我们一起把爱

活成最美最美的钻石我不要你解释

我不要你发誓我只要你记得此刻

你眼里我的样子爱我不要解释

爱我不要发誓从此刻到世界末日

让我们一起把爱活成最美的钻石

你在等答案我会对你说 YES

simply love this song to bits...

e lyrics is so in sync with the way i always feel...

not abt who in particular but love in general...

feel so in love whenever i listen to it ...

hehe

my theme song for now!!!

procrastinating

2007-03-02T19:21:00.000+08:00

boss offered me to stay and work perm with them today.

but i rejected the offer.

i love the place, the people and my boss.

but i dont want to be stuck doing accounts and admin!!

hate it.

so i offered to stay til i find a perm job.

and my boss is really nice abt it. =)

he is a cute grand daddy kind of person,

but the rest of the people just cant see eye to eye with him.

hmm which i wonder why ...

oh yah! and today, a lady from BBDC called,

saying if i dun finish my lessons by 6 Mar,

i wont be able to take my driving test!!

im so busy with work tt i totally forgetted abt tt.

Damn It!!

left sat, sun, mon & tues.

can i finish it in time???

i dun like this feeling

2007-02-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

my heartbeat is racing ...

my thoughts are overloaded ...

im looking hard at the menu trying to avoid a conversation ...

*shit* the waitress came and took away the menu ...

smile sweetly at you sitting across the table ...

avoid eye contact ...

started talking abt the weather, the pple at the next table, the pictures on the tablecloth ...

and slowly *silence*

look around again ...

praying for the food to come ...

brainstorming to strike another conversation ...

took a quick glance at you ...

all of a sudden, i feel so far away from you ...
we seems to be so near, and yet so far apart …

is it me? Or you? Or us?

Happi Happi Times!

2007-02-27T01:55:00.000+08:00

Happi Happi Times!

Flowers! Flowers! This is the 2nd time i have ever gotten flowers! (sua ku).

Didnt work out with the first sender. well hope this time will be better!

present for e king from baby & me!

I have some kind of artistic sense right?

Yes of course i knew it ...

Do i look freaky or what??!!

Torture time!! wahaha! look at his wu gu face. wahaha. I have to actually hold and grab him to take a picture with me! he really hated to take pictures with me so much!!

k la k la, since its V day we still must act act a bit.

so sweet & decent ... omg cant stand it ... =P haha

V DAY

2007-02-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

ohh ... its been such a long time since i have last blog ... ten days!! Since last week i had been busy working. work ... work ... work ... Now i finally understand why wl, bw & xf has been complaining since they started working full time and WHY wl always don't wanna go out on Sunday. Haha. Its really very taxing and tiring! Studying is still the best! So all of u out there who are still studying ... enjoy while you can! Haha.

Yeah! Tomorrow is Valentine's day! Well actually I'm not really anticipating or expecting anything la. To me its just another day. But just to join in the mood ma. Haha. For my whole life till now, I have actually only celebrated V day once. And its like ... hmm ... OMG! 8 yrs le! (Ok la ... I'm not very popular with guys i know. Haha) But its ok ... At least i get to spend V day with my sisters for the rest of the time. SISTERHOOD ROX! BEANIE GANG ROX! Too bad we have to miss spending V day together this year. But its ok, cos we made it up with a friendship day. hehe.

Anyway, hereby wishing everybody an advance Happy Valentine's Day! May those who are attached love each other more with each day, work hard to stay attached (I'm serious. R/S are so fragile these days ... ) and spend the all V day in the rest of your life with your present partner! And to those who are single, enjoy single hood now and patiently wait for the right one to come along! And I'm sure it will be very soon ... have faith!

love ... hug ... kisses ...

silly me

2007-02-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

I have nv shed so much tears for a guy in my life before!!! And its not like he did anything wrong or he was bad to me. Frankly speaking, he is even gd. Dun understand it myself too. Maybe im having depression or what. Scary. Or im not suitable to be in a r/s, cause i worry too much le.

Today we didnt msg each other like usual. Think he must be angry with me. I was feeling terrible the whole day until he msg me in the evening. Then i know he is ok le. And i feel so much better. Imagine half a day without any contact from him and i nearly broke down le ( ok la ... a bit kua zhang la!) Cant imagine if i am without him.

Anyway im feeling much better today le (I hope). All thx to Shawn. Pei-ing me all the while yesterday. Smsing for 3 hrs!! Wasted a lot of his smses, must pay back to him some day. But i know i can nv pay him back what he has given me. Always there for me when im down and not expecting anything back in return. 10000000 X *hugs*

i REALLY wanna be HAPPY!

2007-02-03T19:48:00.000+08:00

i wanna be happy ... i REALLY wanna be HAPPY! but why am i making things difficult for myself? why am i making myself suffer in misery when all i need to do is just don't think so much, worry so much and look on the bright side of things. To make things worst, i cause misery in people around me too. I don't want to be so complex, i wanna be simple ... as simple as possible.

tired ... mentally ...

2007-02-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

Today had been a busy day for us. In the morning he went to get replacement for all his lost documents and cards while i went for driving lesson. After that, we met and went to chinatown to get some beading stuff and my hair treatment!! hehe. Midway we were tired and took a break at a dessert stall. I ordered mango sago and look what i discovered??

Are you thinking what im thinking?? Yeah!! These sago looks like ... eh erm ... sperms! Interesting yeah? but they really do taste delicious though. haha.

Anyway, we caught a movie after that. Happy Birthday by Rene Liu and, my laopo's hubby, Louis Koo. Actually i nv intended to watch this movie, but after Biao Yong's highly recommendation i decided to give it a chance. Haha. Its a really touching movie though. Made me cried several times.

Xiao mi (Rene Liu) relates to me quite a bit. Both of us lack of security. Like her, no matter how much i love the person i am unable to see the future. I am totally committed to my partner, but i just cant seem to trust myself 100% to him. Afraid that once i do, if he change, i will be hurt. So i will always hold back in whatever i want to do.

While we were having the dessert earlier on, i happen to ask him abt his family trip to hongkong before we met. And he confessed that he actually went with his ex instead of his family. My heart dropped for a sec. Why? cos he lied? cos i didn't know they were that close? or cos its just the sudden mention of his ex. Seriously speaking, for the time that we have been together, he never tell me much abt her. Just a bit and there. I'm curious, i wanted to know but afraid to know at the same time. So i seldom ask too. My bad. Now the effect is taking over me. Without knowing his background, makes me feel insecure. How much does he love her? How long have they been together? How long have they broke up before i came into the picture? What is the reason they didn't last? I feel lost without knowing anything. I know its the thing of the past, and what's more important is now that I'm with him, not her. And everybody has a past, so why bother to know so much? Its important to me, cos i wouldn't want to be the first runner up in his heart. Now it too late for me to ask. My bad.

useless ...

2007-01-31T23:50:00.000+08:00

Did nothing much today. Woke up late and spend most of the time on the net. Registered with some online job search websites and was required to write new resumes with each new registration. Most of the sites have the step-by-step resume option whereby they give you instructions and examples to write your resume. Some of the criterias are to write your achievments, skills, strengths blah blah blah ... and i had such a hard time writing!!! Cos i couldnt think of any that i have! So basically i skip most of the parts and just get down to the basics. At this rate that im going and with such a lousy resume, i dont think i will be able to get a job by 18 feb. And Im going to lose the bet with WJ for sure! die ... duno what punishment im going to get for that ...

Im back!

2007-01-31T01:33:00.000+08:00

Thx to the reminder of laogong, i suddenly remember that i actually have a blog!! And to repay her kindness i have added a tagboard at her request specially for her spam!!! hahaha

Wondering what happen during this period when im gone? Well ... to sum up what i have been doing these few months after the last post are just 3 words : Graduated. Jobless. Bumming. But dun feel sad for me, cos im actually enjoing it!! (except the hole in the pocket though)

WJ (and everyone who is sick of my bumming) has been urging me to find a job. I succumb to the nagging and did send out some resumes but seems not nobody is interested in me. *sob*

Just in case people are thinking what a lazy bum i am. NO. I am not. YES.I want to get a job too. But i just want a job that i will be enjoying doing. Which is more in the creative side i suppose, instead of marketing and stuff which is in my course of studies. Well, so im thinking of taking up a design course (much to the horror of WJ!!). He blew his top everytime i touch on this subject. He doesnt understand the need for me to waste more time and money when i just grad. He thinks tt i should just get a job and settle down. Hai ... nvm. We just have different sets of ideas tts all. At least he will not stop me from doing it if i really wants to.

Anyway, the day before was our 16 monniversary!! And he brought me to the Mexican restaurant , Cha Cha Cha, that he used to work at!

these are all mine! heh ... heh ...

And we ate a dish of Jalapeno with melted cheese. Yum Yum!

how long can this get? longer?? longer!!!

why is mine so short?

sorry ... its all my fault ...

2006-07-30T22:15:00.000+08:00

its been a reaaalli long time since i last blogged. which is like 2 months ago? anyway it has always been a habit of mine only to write things down whenever im sad, and today is no expection.

my heart is aching, im feeling down and my mind is blank. who has the power to do these except u.

sorry im stubborn, sorry im dumb, sorry im insensitive, sorry im too self-centred, sorry im not gd enuff, sorry im not like what u tot im supposed to be, sorry i dun understand u well enuff, sorry im so immature, sorry for the things i shouldnt have done and things i should have done, sorry im so stubborn ...

i know u have given in a lot to me. always trying to do ur best. but im just demanding more and taking things for granted, thinking that u will always be there for me no matter what. i forgot that u have emotions too. i know u wont get to see this, but i hope u know i actually do care. its just that i duno how to express and i have a HUGE communication problem. hope this issue will blow over very soon, and things would be back to normal ...

oh oh ~

2006-05-30T03:44:00.000+08:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

something is not quite right with me~ ....

counting down to the days im going back!

2006-05-12T02:10:00.000+08:00

10 more days. 10 more days and i will be back!

although its fun here, but sometimes its really tiring. having to be around with people 24/7, its almost hard to breath. having always to be wary of people's feelings and always be the one that takes all the shit and crap. what the hell. i wanna be a loner sometimes. will make me more happy i guess ...

2 week le! so fast

2006-05-05T06:21:00.000+08:00

i just finished my presentation. feeling like a free bird now. so happy! it feels really terrible when there is something bugging u. although i did a REALLY lousy job. *it sucks actually* im glad at least i tried. so fine. maybe to some people presentation means nothing to them and it doesnt stress them a bit. but it really means a great deal to me! it freaks me out. so i gonna work harder man!

anyway i gtg le. update again soon! hehe

*its freezing here*

im here! im here!

2006-04-23T12:58:00.000+08:00

after preparing and waiting for so long ... im finally here in oklahoma!!

the weather here is great! sunny yet cooling. and the pace of the lifestyle here is so laidback. Near out hotel here, there isnt much activities that we can do here. in order to do grocery shopping, we even have to call a cab and take a 10 mins ride to the nearest shopping area. yah ... u can see how ulu the place here is. AND to make things worst. the expenses here is so darn high. just for the cab ride alone, it is already US$ 42+!! can you imagine? this is really the time to practise "auntie's style of jie jian" le. so im gonna save on everything!! haha.

well just one day here only and im already starting to miss home, miss my mom, my dad, my sisters, my baby boy, my wj and my beloved zhu peng hao yousss ...

2006-04-18T20:11:00.000+08:00

in another 2 more days, i will be on my way to the other side of the world. so yesterday, peizhen and lailin met up with me to have a simple dinner before i leave. so glad to see them! but too bad connie couldnt make it due to exams. but its ok ... cos she promise to go out with me after im back! sentosa, clubbing, etc ... oh i couldnt wait man. haha.

after dinner, we went to a cafe and have a chat. updating each other of whats happening in our life. And to my surprise, peizhen and someone else in our clique (er hem ... u knoe who) is attached!! haha. im so happy for them! finally can see peizhen big smile and can sense her cheerfulness again. hehe. hope this lucky guy will treasure our little princess Long and treats her well.

as we talk abt each of our present r/s yesterday, we came to realized that maintaining a r/s is really difficult. Before we get into a r/s, we will dream about hopes and wonderful fairytale endings, but yet when we are in one, we will start to learn about the reality that being in a r/s is more than just having love. sometimes, being single is really much better than being in love.

Will there be someone to carry me forever too?

2006-04-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped infront of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of thecar in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.I was a strong and happy bridegroom.This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, Iwent into business and tried to make more money. When the assets weresteadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was acivil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost atthe same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was morelikely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me frombehind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This wasthe apartment I bought for her.Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Herwords suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said,"Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinkingof this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.?I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy,because I had promised her to go and see with her.

At the moment, the ideaof divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matterhow mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, shewas a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sittingin front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together.Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, whatwill you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn'timagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all thestaff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide somethingwhile talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiledat my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said.She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know whatI was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly.She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-calledanswer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,"you are not a man!".At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew shewanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardlygive her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated thatshe could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glancedat it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. ButI could not take back what I had said.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected tosee. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorcewhich had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw herwriting something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I foundshe was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in themonth's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason wassimple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and shedidn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I noddedand said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so,I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the daywhen we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me outfrom the bedroom to the door every morning."I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished toend her marriage with a romantic form.I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face theresult of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made mefeel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention wasexplicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when Icarried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clappedbehind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me asense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, Iwalked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and saidsoftly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feelingsomewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus,I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. Irealized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a longtime. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles onher face.On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is beingdemolished. Be careful when you pass there."On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we werestill an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, whereshe put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. Inodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.I didn't tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She triedquite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All mydresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it wasbecause she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because Iwas stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again,I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch herhead.Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essentialpart of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged himtightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind atthe last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, throughthe sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly andnaturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Ourson had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in yourarms until we are old."I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our lifewas lack of such intimacy."I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid anydelay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened thedoor. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got nofever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "Ican only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boringprobably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because wedidn't love each other any more.

Now I understand that since I carried herinto the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her untilI am old. So I have to say sorry to you."Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammedthe door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wifewhich was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting wordson the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until weare old."

i knew it!

2006-04-11T00:30:00.000+08:00

as expected, i really didnt make it thru the last stage of the SIA interview. it was the most awful interview ever. i was like muttering thru out and basically ended every answer with a "ya". it was definatly not impressive. Though the interviewers were really friendly, but it didnt helped at all. my mind was a blank and i just couldnt speak properly. not sure whether they can even hear me speak at all. haha. but anyway, its finally over! and it is such a relief. dun have to worry about it anymore. now i can finally concentrate on doing other stuff le. hehe.

(Biwen ... if u are reading this ... dun forget my ice cream treat hor ... i cant wait man ... *slurp*)

what am i doing?

2006-04-07T14:26:00.000+08:00

feeling kinda of empty at the moment.

was reading kl's, Hl's, dj's and some other's blog just now, and realized that everybody is busy doing their own stuff and getting on in life. life seems to be very "chong shi", but are they doing the things they enjoy? that im not sure. But im sure, im not doing things that i enjoy.

Is that why i am feeling so empty now? its seems that everyday is a routine of either studying or working or eating or sleeping or shiting. im going through things just because there is a need to but not because i want to.

i read somewhere saying that people without a goal in life is the unhappiest person to be. yah ... im definatly one of them. Sure ... i have all the gd things in life. A wonderful family, gd education and all the crap that people would have wanted. But am i really happy? No. Im contented and grateful but definatly not happy.

maybe by doing some volunteering work will help ba. i believe that will make me a happier person. cos thats somewhat my goal in life for the furture. just hope that i have the opportunity and time to do that. i really dun wanna go thru like in a motion. i would rather die.

shen ah ... qing gai wo duo yi dian shi jian

2006-04-03T22:24:00.000+08:00

in about 2 and a half week more, i will be flying across to the other side of the earth. but yet there is still so many things left to be done. i have yet to finish doing my assignment and studying for the exam. amdist all these i still have to work and find time to prepare wj's present!! so many things to do but so little time! help help!

2006-03-23T00:55:00.000+08:00

been too busy to blog recently. havent even got the chance to log on the net. so many things happened these few days. couldnt write it all out. just too many things to be noted. i will just have to lock them all in my memories.

yesterday night was talking with wj on the phone, and just when we wanna hang up, his sir came into the room! so sway! why? cos its supposed to be his lights out time le. haiz. so suay. duno whether its becuase of that, he seems quite upset today. quite moody. i ask him what's wrong. but he kept saying he is ok. eh hello. woman's sixth sense super zhun de. i know something is bothering him. but i couldn't help at all. so sad. hai. hopefully he will be better tml.

anyway, the job today is super boring! boring until the manager has to Create jobs for me to do to keep me occupied. my work might even go down the drain once i finsh the temp job. but its ok. cos i still get my pay. hehe.

oh yeah. and congrats to GREEN BEAN!! you finally learn how to cycle le! haha. really admire your determination sia. really my role model. next time make a big card board cut out of you for me ok?? haha

tml is another long day again!! but baby you must jia you ok!!

sunshine after rain

2006-03-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

on fri, after the incident i was really upset. so when he msged me, i replied very coldly. telling him that he dun have to accompany me for the interview and i feel like going for it alone. he also sense that something is wrong and ask me what happen. but it was too late, i was too upset to talk about it. that night i was so upset, i even cried myself to sleep *haiz silly me*

on sat, i got up and started preparing the clothes to wear for the interview. he didnt msged me, so i assume he is either still sleeping or busy with his stuff, so i didnt bother to msg him too. about 1 hr before i was about to leave, he msged me, asking what time am i leaving the place. and after a few msges, he said that he is actually at the pool by my house already. but yet, i didnt invite him up and instead insist that he go look for his friend who lives near by. i just didnt feel like talking to him at that moment. A few msges later, he said that he is very upset about the way i am treating him and will be leaving the place to leave me alone for the day. seeing that, i instantly msged him to come up but he didnt reply. at that moment, i knew that i really hurt him le.

after that, my mom came back to fetch me to the interview. i frantically called him and asked his whereabout. luckily he is just at the busstop outside, so i insisted that he accompany me this time. after a few begging, he agreed. my mom picked him up by the road leading out of the condo. the moment i saw him, my heart nearly shattered to pieces. i can see his agony from the look on his face. i wanted so much to say sorry, but i just couldn't say it out.

anyway, we finally cleared everything (almost everything) on the way back to my house. he said he felt really upset about me turning him away and treating him so coldly. and said that i should nv do it ever again. he seems to be tearing and it broke my heart again. tears started rolling down my face and the next thing i know ... i couldn't stopped crying. i was crying through 1/2 the bus journey and at the same time telling him the reason i am upset with him in between sobs. thinking back now, its so malu, a lot of people must have been staring at me as if im some crazy woman. but at least we cleared things up after that talk. he said that he is sorry and will try to change. and i said that im sorry too for treating him so coldly.

anyway i told myself not to do this again. acting like a spoil brat doesnt solve anything. in the end, by rejecting him, im only hurting him and myself at the same time. sorry bi boo. this wont happen again le.

happy then not so happy then sad

2006-03-11T01:06:00.000+08:00

HAPY BIRTHDAY XIAO FEN!! hope you like the birthday celebration yesterday (or rather just now). Really memorable isnit?? haha

first, we went to swensen to have dinner. where they are having a birthday promotion that entitle us to a free main course and ice cream. we didnt know about the promotion untils the manager explained to us and once he said the word 'free', we marched in without any hesitation. haha

after that, we went to hark music cafe that is opposite paradiz centre. its a ming ge chan ting where we get to chill and listen to people singing. you can dedicate songs and even sing live infront of the audience. a totally cool place to chill with friends.

the happening part of the night came when the singers knew that its xiaofen's birthday and demand her to get on stage!! of course she refused la ... so pai seh lor ... but the people there are so persistent. so bo bian all of us have to go to the front with her. in the end (after a very long discussion and dilly dally) biwen and weilih accompanied her to sing 'yong qi'. nothing can be more suitable than that! haha. well as for me ... (sorry sistas) i was sitting below with quizhi swaying with the melody cos i just refused to get on stage. =P sorry sistas ... i know i very mei yi qi ... but i will really die under the spotlight and melt under the stares of so many pairs of eyes. sorrryyyy ....

well everything was fun and we had a really great time until wj dropped by to met me. if only he didnt come then i wont get to realized it. and i wont be so upset now.

he is going to play lan with his friends at a place just a few shops away from where i am so he dropped by to say hi. anyway im about to go home at that time too, so as we are talking, im sort of hinting him to send me to the busstop. (which is like 10 mins away at a really ulu place and its really dark. ) obviously he didnt get the hint and suggested that i take a cab home. i insisted on getting the bus to save money but he says it is too dark and dangerous for a ger to walk that far. of course i know its dark and dangerous deh! but instead of worrying about my safety and walking me there, he seems more anxious about playing his game! so happily, he say bye and went off without even ensuring how i am getting home.

my heart was dripping blood as i was walking to the busstop. i was so fighten as it was really dark and quiet at 12.30 at an ulu place near little india. and furthurmore, knowing that my bf is just around the corner but he is not with me. oh great! just when i need u most u are always not around. well anyway this is not the first time that i realized gaming is more important than me le. after i reached home, my mom said biwen called to check whether im back as she couldnt reached my phone. and this hurts me more, cos even my friends are even more concern about me than he does. he didnt even bother to ask. well ... as a matter of fact ... he did ask ... some 3 hrs after i reached home and of course ... after he ended playing his game. thx ... really appreciated it. am i being too unreasonable here? i tot all boyfriends would worry about the safety of their gf if they really care? isnt it? what i want is merely some concern that is really from ur heart. some actions to show that u really care about me. not beautiful words to make me happy. i dun want that. sorry if i seems like a spoilt brat who demands attention. what i really wan is actions to prove that i really mean something in ur heart. but right until now ... all i have recieved are promises ... sorry im numb ...

xing fu

2006-03-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

was riding the bus on the way home just now and getting really sleepy. at that point of time really wish and hope that there is a shoulder for me to lean on and let me have a really gd sleep. someone to support me whenever in times of need. i dun wan much. jus want to feel this kind of xiao xin fu. knowing that there is always someone there for me. it is also at times like this when i realized how much i miss him. at times like this when i wish how gd it will be if he is here. but oh well. i cant demand much ba. cant always expect him to be always around me. but the important thing is im very lucky to have him already, isnt it? hehe. like people always say we cant always take things for granted and regret only after losing it. presently, im very grateful with what i have already. and i hope zx will somehow realize this too. stop making kl sad le. start treating her right ba. and know how lucky u are to have her.

full ...

2006-03-08T23:32:00.000+08:00

went makaning with yankar just now at bukit timah rd's boon tong kee. we ordered so many stuff its like having a mini 4 course dinner! personally i ate til the verge of puking le (duno about yk) ... haha ... but nevertheless the fried toufu makes everything so worthwhile yummy~

and well, today bb went back camp le ... the medical guy gave him 2 days excused lower limbs excecise cos his leg is infected! poor thing ... hai ... hope he can hurry recover *sayang*

oh no!

2006-03-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

i have finally gotten my SIA second interview's email!! it states that im to go on sat (which is 3 days later) ... but how am i suppose to turn up in this condition? the big scar on my forehead is still far from healing, there are still cuts on my leg and those ugly-looking orh chehs! oh no!! my confidence level just went from 50% to some hopeless -100%. though wj just given me some encouragements ... but seriously ... i dun think i can make it lor ... haiz ...

just feel like it

2006-03-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

was talking to yankar on the phone while surfing on the net a few days ago when i chanced upon this blog skin. fell in love with it. and here i am starting a blog. haha. a little silly ba. but i dun care. cos i jus feel like doing it.